13 days

May 8, 2010 was an extremely emotional day for me. Carson and I were home that day by ourselves and just played and played. At some point, we were sitting on the couch, nose to nose, and it FINALLY hit me: I AM A MOM!!! Tomorrow, I get to celebrate Mother's Day for the very first time. I won't be the only woman on both sides of my family NOT a mom. I will be able to make it through the day without the fake smile and the aching heart that only God knows how bad hurts. My wonderful husband won't feel like he has to walk around me on eggshells or hold me as I crawl in his lap and cry out to God to heal this hurt. THANK YOU JESUS!!!!

That day, secluded in my house with my little miracle, I cried and laughed and praised Almighty God. I sent an email out to prayer warriors who I felt should be celebrating that day with me. I promised God that our testimony would be heard, if He would just show me the way. I thanked Him for the journey that had brought me to this point because I am much stronger for it. I thanked Him for the changes in my marriage that were only a result of our two year "struggle". Mostly, I just thanked Him for being Him.

Even though it wasn't my first official "Mother's Day", that Saturday will always be a day that I remember much more so than the actual day itself.